It seems evident that we are made for the relationship. In fact, our whole life is intertwined with relationships. But sometimes we risk ruining them with hard or superficial judgments.

Along the story we find multiple images that are also part of the common language. Thus, in the ancient tradition we find a well -known expression that says: "Why do you look at the straw that is in your brother's eye and don't you notice the beam that is in your eye?"[1]; Equally proverbial is the image of the two bisacce: one in front of the eyes, with the defects of others, which we see easily and the other on the back, with our defects, which we therefore find it hard to recognize[2] Or, as a Chinese proverb says, "man is blind to his defects, but he has eagles for those of others".

This does not mean accepting what happens, indiscriminately. Faced with injustice, violence or abuse we cannot close our eyes. We must commit to the change, starting to look first of all, listening to one's conscience sincerely to find out what we have to improve. Only in this way can we ask ourselves how to concretely help others, even with advice and corrections.

It takes "another point of view" that offers a different perspective from mine, enriching my 'truth' and helping me not to incur self -referentiality and in those evaluation errors that basically are part of our human nature.

There is a word that may seem ancient, but which is enriched with always new meanings: misericordia, to be lived first of all towards ourselves and then towards others. In fact, only if we are able to accept and forgive our limits will we be able to welcome the weaknesses and errors of others. Indeed, when we realize that we unconsciously we feel superior and compelled to judge, it becomes indispensable to be willing to take "the first step" towards the other to avoid cursing the relationship.

Chiara Lubich tells a group of Muslims about his experience in the small house of Trento in which he began his adventure with few first companions. Not everything was simple and there were no misunderstandings: "It was not always easy to experience the radicality of love. [...] Even between us, on our relationships, dust could be placed, and the unit could have illusidated. This happened, for example, when we realized the defects, the imperfections of the others and was judged to be judged, so the exchange current of love was cooled. To react to this situation we thought one day to tighten a pact between us and called it" Misericordia ”. It was decided to see every morning the next one we met - at home, at school, at work, etc. - new, not remembering at all of its defects but everything covering with love. [...]"[3].

A real "method" that is worth putting into practice in working groups, in the family, in assemblies of all kinds.

[1] (Lc 6,41)
[2] Aesop (mosquito) , Fedro (Legends)
[3]C. Lubich, Love to neighbor, conversation with Muslim friends, Castel Gandolfo, November 1, 2002. Cf. C. Lubich, Mutual love, New City, Rome 2013, pp. 89-90.